Before I get into the meat of this post, I want to make it perfectly clear that, for the most part, I am a pacifist. Having said that, I will bring your attention to that clause “for the most part.” The reason that I bring your attention to this is because I am well aware that even the most zen and most peaceful of people, the people with the biggest hearts and the most patience in the world, can, indeed, be pushed beyond their limit. And I know that I am no different than anyone else when it comes to the final straw that broke the camel’s back.
No matter who we are, and no matter how much self-work and self-reflection and self-healing that we do, we are, eventually going to run into that one highly obnoxious individual who will just not stop with their stupidity or their aggression towards us. Now, the thing is that, being a pacifist does NOT mean that you should not or will not know how to fight. When push comes to shove, it is far better to come out on top of the scrap heap than it is to be at the bottom of it. It is just that, on a daily and regular basis, we tend to choose the more peaceful approach to conflict resolution. But when that does not work (and believe me, there will be times when it definitely does not work) it is also important to know how to defend yourself from the aggression that is coming your way, even if you do so after the fact. I will, in this blog, share a few ideas that have, over the years, worked for me. These ways are based in very old magical concepts and practices. Are you sitting comfortably? Very well. Then let us begin!
Name in a Shoe
There are a few traditions that utilize this particular practice. My mother, who was part Jewish, learned this from that part of our lineage. However, it is alive and well in other traditions as well. So, how this works is that you write the name of the person who is giving you grief on a small piece of paper. If you like, you can smudge the paper before and after the name is placed on it. Once the name is on a piece of paper, place that paper into your shoe that you are wearing for that day. What this does is energetically send the signal to the person to back up or you will walk all over them. When I have used this, not only have they backed up, but they have also pretty much disappeared from my circle of influence. Sometimes they move away. Sometimes they have found another job elsewhere (if they were a coworker). Sometimes they have found someone else entirely to inflict their misery upon. Needless to say, if they are doing that, they are no longer spending their time attempting to make your life miserable. You can offer assistance to their next target, should you wish, but if you don’t know that person at all then it is a matter of them helping themselves in whatever way they see as appropriate.
Put them in a Jar
Many magical practitioners will choose to use this technique because it is currently quite popular. In this one, you would place a photo of the person, preferably with something that is theirs, such as some hair from their hairbrush, into a jar. Then you would place in the jar along with these items such things as nails, thorny stems of roses, black tourmaline (the “f-off” crystal of the mineral kingdom), salt, even grave dirt (from the edge of a graveyard is perfectly acceptable. That way you are not disturbing the actual grave site). Then seal the jar completely. What this technique does is give the energetic message to “back up or you’re dead” (thus the graveyard dirt). Some folks will also paint the outside of the jar completely black so that it disorients the living person. And sealing the jar cuts off their oxygen supply so that they have no energy to strike out at you anymore. Place the jar in a completely safe location. High on a shelf in your bedroom, or, as I always like to do, up on a shelf in a cold room, which also freezes them out of your life.
The Ice Cube Method
Speaking of freezing a person out of your life, you can use the above concepts, placing their name on a tiny piece of paper, then placing that paper into an ice cube tray, filling it with water, and freezing it overnight. When you place the tray in the freezer to freeze overnight, say the word, “Isa,” (“Ee-sah” ) which means “stand still,” or, “Freeze!” The next day take that ice cube out (you may need to mark it somehow so you know at a glance which cube is the once you are using for this), go outside, and say these words:
I release your influence. I release you from my life. I release you from my circle of influence.
Then throw the ice cube as far away as you can. It will smash into pieces if it lands on pavement or concrete, and that is alright. Then it will melt and evaporate. As it does so, that negative person will have their interest in you dissolve completely.
I should mention I that not everyone will be comfortable with putting a “person” into a jar or into an ice cube, and will see that as also being aggression, rather than an act of self-defense. That is alright. If you are uncomfortable with that, then simply place a description of their toxic behaviors into that jar or ice cube, without mentioning their actual name. That way you are ridding yourself of the energetic vibration of toxic behavior geared toward you to make your life miserable. There is always a work-around that will suit our needs and feel congruent with who we are, who we want to be, and who we are becoming. Just think creatively and think outside of the box.
The Void Box
Speaking of boxes, the Void Box is an excellent self-defense tool when it comes to toxic people. For this you will need to get yourself a small wooden box. Paint it black inside and outside. Then get yourself some small mosaic mirrors (you can find both of these items at your local craft store) and glue a mirror to every side, top and bottom of the box, both inside and out. Once this is done, you can place the person’s name on a piece of paper and place that paper inside the box. Close the box and seal it shut with wax or glue. Place the box in a safe location where it will not be disturbed. What the Void Box does is isolate the person’s energy away from your own energy and reflect their own toxic energy back at them. And the mirrors on the outside of the box reflect away any energies that would disturb that process. The person will then experience what their own energy does to others and, believe me, it changes their attitude right smartly.
The Energy Vampire
It does not always have to be about defending yourself from aggression. There are people in this world who, nice as they may seem to others and even to ourselves, make it a habit of feeding on other people‘s energies. These people are what many refer to as energy vampires. How do you know that you are in the presence of an energy vampire? There are a few signs:
1. You feel like you have very little ability to exert your own will in conversations with this person.
2. You often feel an energy drain in this person’s presence.
3. After spending time with this person you find that you often feel physically ill with odd symptoms that make no sense and that you have perhaps never had before, such as pain in the liver area, severe migraines or overall fatigue when you normally feel absolutely peachy.
4. The thought of having to spend time with this person brings you a feeling of dread, even if that person is closely related to you.
5. Although you feel drained, the energy vampire, who could, at the time of your encounter, be declining quickly, suddenly feels absolutely fine and their health improves dramatically. This in contrast to how you feel absolutely ill.
One of the things I have found helps when dealing with an energy vampire is to have a toxic tie severing ceremony or energy treatment. This disconnects their toxic energy from your energy system. But once that is done, I find that following up with an energy grid is highly important. To do this you will need something that represents that person. It does not have to be their hair or anything like that. It could be as simple as a tiny figurine that represents them. Or you can make a small poppet that represents them. Be sure that it is something that you will not use for any purpose other than this. Once you have that, spread out a cloth. Often it is suggested that the cloth be black, and I do have black napkins that I would use for something like this, but really the color of the cloth is not as important as actually setting up the grid itself. So, the cloth is laid out (in a place where it will not be disturbed…so not the kitchen table). Place the representational object in the middle of the cloth. Then, using sea salt, surround the object in a circle of salt. There should be enough salt to create a small circle mound of it around the object. Once that is done, place 8 clear quartz crystals around the circle of salt, pointing inward; one at each of the cardinal points around the circle, and one at each of the non-cardinal points. Then place a drop of water in the center of the chest of the object (or where, if it were a person, the Centre of the chest would likely be located). As you do this, say the person’s name and then say, “Your negative influence can no more be. As I will, so must it be!” It is done. Do not disturb this grid for any reason, and if it does accidentally get disturbed, just redo the grid spell. I should mention that the water element is communicating to them on a deep soul level what your spell is saying. It is quite effective!
These are just a few ideas from my arsenal of magical self-defense toolkit. You can adapt some of it as you see fit. It is always important to make a magical spell your own, as opposed to just following someone else’s recipe. But if you like that recipe as is, by all means put it to use. You have a right to defend yourself from the aggressors. That does NOT have karmic blowback on you, any more than swatting a mosquito would. So do as you will and enjoy the liberation from the ridiculous aggression.