Over the years I have encountered many people who, for whatever reason, have a need to convince others that they are the absolute best at whatever the skill or task is. It is not like anyone asks them if they are the best or even if they know what they are doing. They simply insert that overinflated self-confidence into the conversation. One would think that they had never heard the news that bragging is not a flattering look on them.
Whenever this happens, it makes me consider what it actually takes to be the best? I know from many lessons that I have taken to become good at any number of things that it takes practice, practice and even more practice. For example, when I was learning to play the guitar. I knew that if ever I was going to become excellent at it I would need to put in around 10,000 hours of practice. Although I was diligent in my practice sessions, I am still nowhere near that 10,000 hours of practice. And, frankly, I have not been playing as much as I would like to of late, so I am behind. But I would never assume to think that just because I am developing a skill it makes me the best at that skill, as others seem to do. It is as if nobody had ever heard of humility. I know this sounds like I am complaining, but I was brought up to be truthful…honest…and humble (which only means grounded in reality). So when I encounter an overly confident braggart, it does indeed irritate me. But more so, it makes me instantly lose all interest in them and whatever it is that they are bragging about.
Being the best actually does not mean being better than all the rest. It means doing your best with what you have to offer. You do not need to prove yourself to anyone. You simply need to be the best you can be in any given moment. When you fall short you will definitely know. And then you can self-improve. As a matter of fact, trying to prove yourself to others is actually an insult to yourself. You really have nobody that you need to prove yourself to other than yourself.
Did you know that, when someone is doing their best at something there is a glow that emits from their energy field? True story. I have noticed this many times, because I see the energy system. When a person is doing their best, they tend to be emersed in the task. It does not matter whether the task is something for their work, or something for their pleasure. That emersion in the task kicks in and they do their best to accomplish what they are focused upon. It is like multi-colored sparkles begin to emerge from their aura. It is beautiful to see. When they have completed the task the sparkles spread throughout their energy field and then out into the world. It bothers me when someone is doing their best, however, and someone else is hounding them to do better. That makes the sparkles dimishish rapidly. The person becomes unfocused and the task falls short.
This makes me wonder what parents, for example, are really doing when they are pushing their child to become overachievers? I have seen this in the hockey rink, in the sports arena, at the gymnasium and at the music concert. Every time I have seen it I have also witnessed the sparkle diminish in the child. I have even seen this in adult children when their parent begins to push and criticize. The parent most often has not even asked the child, adult or otherwise, what they want. They are obsessively concerned about what they want their child to do, whether that makes them happy or not. Often what the child learns is that they are never good enough. And so the cycle of comparison begins.
But when we look at what makes a happy life, we will often find that it is not fame or fortune. It is peace. People seach for a lifetime looking for happiness when they could simplify and shorten the search if they changed their focus to finding peace. But in order to do that we have to learn to let go of comparisons.
This is why it is the bravest of people who let go of social conventions and expectations. They follow their own path and discover that they are more peaceful and, as a result, they are far happier than their counterparts who are trapped in the cycle of external validation. These are the people who are NOT influencers who have to post several times a day on social media. They do not care about if anyone follows them or not, let alone how many followers they acquire along the way. These are people who discern relationships by the level of connection and peace they each experience from the encounter. I find personally that if someone brings their drama into my space they are very soon distanced. My space is my happy place because it is peaceful, not because I hold a party every weekend. People have sometimes asked me if this makes me lonely. The answer is a resounding “NO.” Instead it makes me calm and content. I can sit alone in my home for weeks and not have a need to see anyone. Covid put that to the test for me, and I found that I had been training for that isolation all my life! I did stay connected to friends and family via video chats and such. But, for the most part, I enjoyed the silence in the world. I could go out into my back yard and hear a pin drop in the next province over! Birdsong became more audible. The sound of the wind moving through the trees was louder and easier to discern the messages that it carries (the wind carries messages to me). I found I cared less and less about being understood by anyone at all. That lack of concern about what others think became a flex that I began developing in my early teens. I became a master at it over the last number of years. I highly recommend this approach. If you choose to try it, you will find that at first it is a lot of work, especially in the self-discipline area. But the better you get at it, the better you will feel and you will, through finding that inner peace, become your very BEST. So allow your inner sparkle to SHINE!