.A very long time ago I had what I initially thought was a pimple on my back. Usually these things just go away on their own. But this one grew. I then thought that it was perhaps a boil. But it never developed a head on it, so that was not what it was. It kept growing, which began to concern me. So, I went to see a doctor for the first time in likely 15-20 years. It was so long a time that my records were still in some storage unit in another city, as it had never been digitized. When the doctor looked at my paper thin record (expecting the usual volumnous edition that he normally encounters) he asked me why my file was so thin? I told him it was because I don’t usually need to see a doctor and I don’t tend to come in for a sniffle or a flue bug. He nodded and said, “I wish more people were like that.” Then I showed him the lump on my back. He told me he was really glad that I had come in because, no, that was not a pimple or a boil but rather a cyst. Then he referred me to a plastic surgeon. A PLASTIC SURGEON. I mean, I was not requiring a face lift, so why? He assured me that those were the specialists who were in charge of removing cysts. Okay then.
When I finally got to see the plastic surgeon we agreed that this cyst had to come out. I was scheduled for the proceedure within a few weeks. As I was laying face down and he was about to cut into it he asked me what I do for a living. I told him I am a shaman. His response was priceless. “What?? A shaman? A SHAMAN??? I have been wanting to meet one of you folks for a very long time!” When he was done with extracting the cyst he asked me if I wanted to see what came out? I said I did. He showed me a fist full of puss. My response was, “Oh, I know exactly who that is.” He laughed and said, “I absolutely knew that would be your response!”
Now, fast forward, and I assure you there is a thread of thought joining these things together. Just over a year ago I decided to contact a friend of mine who does amazing work with gel nails. After over 60 years of nail biting, I was ready to once and for all put a stop to this. She assured me that gel nails tend to be really tough and extremely difficult to chew. Excellent. I booked in immediately. It has been rather successful. There have been times that, during yard and garden work, I have managed to chip or break a nail (man that hurts!) even with gloves on. But then I realized that I HAVE NAILS THAT I CAN CHIP OR BREAK! YAY!
I look at things like gel nails and plastic surgery as more of a fashion thing than a self-maintenance thing. See? I told you there was a thread of thought connecting the two! But the thing is that it can also be therapeutic. Just as gel nails have helped me manage to get my nail biting under control and the cyst removal helped me to not become a hunchback or worse, there are other benefits. For example, Botox can be used to help facial nerves to settle down when one has, say, a twitching eye. It can also be helpful in stopping migraines. So, something that starts out as simply cosmetic becomes therapeutic.
When I began getting my nails done I was a little uncomfortable with it. Self-conscious just begins to scratch the surface. If I had done something like this when I was a teenager I would have been beaten to death by classmates or even family members who were homophobic. But now? Women love my nails. They get admired quite often. But the really interesting thing is men admire them too! Gay men, sure, but also straight men. They love what they look like. Some have even said that they are now going to find someone to do their nails for them because they can see how good they can look. I am not talking about just a clear coat. I am an artist. So I have my friend go to town with creativity when it comes to my nails. I am including a photo of her more recent work, which I think is downright amazing.
Although I have explored makeup in the past, I have not really kept up with it because I find it to be a fair bit of work that can easily be overdone. So, I let that go for the most part. I think men definitely need to explore that though. There is nothing wrong with men wearing makeup. But it needs to be done in a way that looks natural. No pink eyeshadow, guys! Just my opinion there. Although I have let the makeup thing go by the wayside, I am definitely going to keep going with the gel nails. The benefits far outweigh the insecurities.
There is a gentleman on TikTok by the name of Mark Brian who has become popular because, at the age of 61, he decided he was going to wear high heals and a dress. He looks amazing in them. He, like so many others, has become aware that it is important to stop gendering clothing and allow anyone to dress however they bloody well like. I love that. Although I will likely not wear a dress because that is not my thing, I have been known to wear robes at certain times. I think that robes can in a way be considered a dress. The purpose for me is more spiritual than fashionable, but the effect is the same. Why not? Why the hell not? So, for anyone out there who is struggling with the desire to be free with their attire instead of being heteroconformormative, I encourage you to branch out and wear whatever the hell you like. The world needs to change. And you can be a trend setter. And if the Pope can wear a dress, then why can’t you?
Years ago when I had to wear a suit for work I would wear the tie with a ring around it, just under the knot. When people would ask me why I would tell them that it was because I was a trend setter and to wait two years and they would find this on the runway in Milan. Two years later it was on the runway in Milan. What can I say? We can all be trend setters. So just jump in and do it. But while you are doing it, just remembr that pajamas are not a fashion statement. Well….unless you are a Wallmartian.