Something that many do not know about me is that I mentor other healers. This is not a first come, first serve situation, mind you. No, I entirely choose who I will invest my time into. I look for the qualities that resonate with me and my style of healing. I have, in the past, had some folks think that if they just tell me I need to mentor so-and-so then I will automatically do so. Some have even tried to throw thier children at me to mentor. Nope. These approaches do NOT work with me. I am not obligated to mentor anyone. But if someone approaches me and we get to know one another and the energies resonate between us, then I will definitely consider mentoring them.
This week someone in my mentorship program asked me a valuable question. “Do wounded healers make more excellent healers than those who have not suffered traumas?” I love that question because there is not just one answer to it. There are several perspectives. Here are some of the perspectives I would like to share:
When a person experiences trauma through life, they tend to become more aware of trauma issues and responses. This does not mean that someone who has not suffered trauma cannot learn about them. It is just that the wounded healer will have an inate instinct when it comes to that. Even so, if the wounded healer has not done their own work on healing traumas that have been experienced, then they are simply more likely to project those traumas onto the very people that they are trying to assist. We really have to pay attention to the responses that the healer gives us.
When trauma is worked on and healed over a vast amount of time it can become transmuted into certain strengths that the healer walks with every day. Some of those may include things like a sharper awareness of microexpressions on a person’s face, a deeper sense of understanding how life can go sideways at the hands of an abuser, a deeper awareness of compassion for the healing journey a person is on, no matter where they are at on the healing journey, and a knowing of some of the many things that can help a person to heal from the trauma. The awareness of microexpressions and (in my case) the awareness of the subtle changes of energy that can happen in a split second, begin as a survival tool, for sure. But over time they become healing tools when working with others.
Not everyone who has trauma in the past is meant to be a healer. This is something that many disregard, with dire consequences. There is an attitude that “I know you better than you know yourself because I have lived this stuff.” This is dangerous. First off, although circumstances may be similar, nobody has experienced that particular trauma the way you have. So don’t let anyone say they know you better than you know yourself. That is overinflated ego speaking. Look at it like this…two people can be in the same car accident. One may walk away while the other dies. These are two different results from the same trauma. And there is no predicting which one will live and which will die. Just as there is no predicting what of the many trauma responses will be activated from any given trauma.That is something that is completely individual.
The other thing to remember is that we should never disqualify ourselves or anyone else when it comes to trauma and hurt that is experienced through life. The oak and the bamboo do not compare themselves to each other and neither should we. For some the subtle things can traumatize the most. For others it is the big things that stick. So, if you feel that because you have had a pretty good life then you are less capable as a healer, I encourage you to reconsider this. First, you may have some trauma deep down from way back in your life that you are not yet aware of. Secondly, even if you don’t, then this means that you can approach trauma issues with a clear mind that is not going to, in any way, be triggered by someone else’s trauma story. That, in and of itself, is a gift as well.
Most folks who work on their past traumas will find that they become somewhat proficient in addressing the traumas and healing the wounds. That may expand, in some cases, into the exploration of healing modalities that have proven to work for them. That exploration may, or may not, lead to one becoming certified as a healer in that, or a few, modalities. But still the choice as to whether or not to hang your shingle on a door and start working with clients is still yours to make. There is absolutely no rule stating that you must or must not do so. That is more about listening to a calling in one direction or another. So listen carefully.
Some folks just feel the call to be of service in the healing field from a very early age onwards. That is just as powerful a calling as that of anyone who has gone through the traumas and the certifications. I believe that it is a human condition to want to help others. It is a human sickness to not care at all about others. I also believe that some of us were simply born to help this world through the healing work that we do. Accepting that is often the challenge that is faced.
I also want to mention the ripple effect. As I heal someone else I am simply opening up channels for them to heal themselves. So the ripple there is about an awakening consciousness. There is also a ripple of healing that pours from that person into their family, friends, community and the world at large. And there is also a ripple effect that comes back to me as well. I cannot channel healing energies without them going through me. When they do I also heal. One of my own mentors put it this way, “As I heal myself I heal others. As I heal others I heal myself.” We are, after all, interconnected in the Web of Life. Although we are individuals, we are also all one. So, everything we do to help one person helps us all.