Life in the Fast Lane. That is what so many folks want in their lives. The excitement, the intrigue, the adrenaline rush. Many live their entire lives moving at that pace. Business deals, drug deals, new homes (the bigger the better), new cars, everything that feeds their nihilistic personalities.
These are the folks who often will think of themselves as immortal. They never consider the possibility that they could one day self-destruct, that life could catch up to them. Not for one second do they think that they will ever be vulnerable to the same things that the rest of humanity is vulnerable to…things like illness, disease, violence, scrutiny, judgement. No, they think that their self-entitled lives are immune to all that. Death is not an option for them…until suddenly it is there, claiming them the same way it claims everyone else on the planet.
I cannot say that I was ever truly in the fast lane. I observed it in others around me. Yes, I could definitely party hard, but I also knew my limits. I knew as well what I was willing to do and not do. I would not take advantage of anyone or purposefully intimidate them to get what I wanted (unless what I wanted was to protect someone else who could not stand up for themselves). I was definitely not a superhero, but the underdog always had my help when needed, no matter who I was going to have to go up against.
From an early age I was trained to have a strong sense of integrity. So when I would see injustice, I would meet that injustice with wrath. Although I am a pacifist at heart, and a very patient man in general, there is a line that I am not going to allow myself or anyone else to cross. And if someone tries to step over that line they find out very quickly what a huge mistake they just made.
I don’t know when exactly it began, but I have noticed that a lot of people have no interest in contentment. They confuse contentment with boring. Contentment has nothing at all to do with being bored. It has a LOT to do with having peace. So when there is a slow day, I like to enjoy that. I do things that others may think is weird, such as reading a book, or having coffee on my deck, or just going to a garden centre to listen to the crickets as I walk through the plant section. That is something that “takes me home.” I used to fall asleep to the sound of the crickets at night when I was growing up. I could feel all the stress in my body leave and I would quickly drift off into dreamland. I have often thought that I should have a cricket farm in my home, but I know that the sound level would eventually drive my partner mad. So I don’t do that. Instead, I decided to load the sound of Night Crickets onto my Spotify. That way, whenever I need to hear them, I just push PLAY and sit back and relax. I am, in fact, listening to that as I write this blog.
Contentment is something that I often sought out as a young adult. Having come from a dysfunctional and often violent home, I really needed to just feel “normal” for a change. So much so that I took some time away from my gifts and abilities just to fit in with the rest of the mundane world. That worked…for a time. Then I could no longer run away from who and what I am. So instead, I chose to integrate them into my sense of peace and contentment. That took a lot of work to do, but I put in the time and effort and it paid off. For me, there is nothing boring about contentment.
Contentment, for me, means that I know who I am and where I am. I know that I have a roof over my head, food on my table, and clothes on my back. That is so much more than many people have. Yes, I have worked hard to get that. And, having done so, I know what it takes. But that does not mean that I cannot have compassion for those who don’t have it (for whatever reasons). Contentment is being able to take a nap with my 3 dogs all curled up beside me (or on top of me) and listen to their breathing as we all snooze. Contentment is knowing that I am finally in a healthy and beautiful relationship. Contentment is having positive relationships with our adult children.
I would much rather have those things in my life than try to live in the FAST LANE.
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