Fairy Ointment
Once upon a time there was, in the town of Tavistock, an old woman who was a midwife.
One night, she had just got into bed when rap, rap, rap came on her cottage door. The summoner was a strange, squint-eyed, ugly little fellow, but she dared not resist the command to come and attend upon his wife.
A large coal-black horse stood at the door. The ill-looking old fellow whisked her up on a high pillion in a minute, seated himself before her, and away went the horse and riders, as if sailing through the air, rather than trotting on the ground. How she got to the place of her destination she could not tell; but it was a great relief to her fears when she found herself set down at the door of a neat cottage, saw a couple of tidy children, and remarked her patient to be a decent-looking woman.
A fine, bouncing babe soon made its appearance, and the mother gave the nurse a certain ointment with directions that she should rub it on the child’s eyelids.
The nurse performed her task, though she thought it an odd one. She wondered what it could be for; and thought that, as no doubt it was a good thing, she might just as well try it upon her own eyes as well; so she made free to rub one of them, and when, Oh! ye powers of fairyland, what a change was there!
The neat, but homely cottage, and all who were in it, seemed all on a sudden to undergo a mighty transformation; some for the better, some for the worse. The new-made mother appeared as a beautiful lady attired in white; the babe was seen wrapped in swaddling clothes of a silvery gause. It looked much prettier than before, but still maintained the elfish cast of the eye, whilst two or three children more had undergone a metamorphosis into a couple of little flat-nosed imps.
The woman got away as fast as she could, saying nothing about the magic ointment.
On the next market day, when she went to sell her eggs, who should she see but the same, wicked looking little fellow, busied in pilfering sundry articles from stall to stall.
So up she went, and inquired carelessly after his wife and child, and hoped both were as well as could be expected.
“What!” exclaimed the old pixy thief, “do you see me today?”
“See you! To be sure I do, as plain as I see the sun in the skies; and I see you are busy into the bargain.”
“Do you so!” cried he. “Pray with which eye do you see all this?”
“With the right eye to be sure.”
“The ointment! The ointment!” exclaimed the old fellow. “Take that for meddling with what did not belong to you – you shall see me no more.”
He struck her eye as he spoke, and from that hour till the day of her death she was blind on the right side, thus dearly paying for having gratified an idle curiosity in the house of a pixy.
- Anna Eliz Bray, Traditions, Legends, Superstitions, and Sketches of Devonshire on the Borders of the Tamar and the Tavy vol. 1 (London: H.G. Bohn, 1838) (Abridged)
Perhaps it is because I am a Cusper between Boomer and Gen X. Or perhaps it is because my mother raised me right. I am not sure. But the fact of the matter is that I respect when something is none of my business. If someone has a secret, great, please keep it to yourself. If someone has an opinion about me, that is also your right, but you can keep it to yourself, be it good or bad, because it is none of my business. I have mentioned this approach in previous blogs. I find that it is astounding how many folks respond negatively to that.
But the thing is that when someone is overly concerned with what others think about them, then they are just following herd mentality of “normality” or “popular opinion.” They are in no way thinking for themselves. That is where my mother comes in. She was a strong proponent for thinking for oneself and she taught me from a very early age to not worry about others’ opinions on anything I say or do, but to focus on what is right and true for me. That is something that she not only encouraged, but also appreciated about me as I grew up. She knew that she did not have to worry about me making stupid decisions because I would always do what was right instead of what was easy or expected, unlike some of my other siblings. This, of course, backfired on her a wee bit when what I knew to be right contradicted what she believed in. Unfortunately for her, she had also successfully taught me to stand up to authority. And so, as time went on, we became a little less involved with each other, even though we loved each other to the end of the earth.
Over time I came to realize that the only person that I could 100% count on was myself. Did this make me a loner? Well, that depends upon your definition of a loner. I can certainly be a social butterfly, and in fact I most often am. But do I follow the crowd when it comes to belief systems and biases? No. I will always be the devil’s advocate when there is discussion that I feel is biased towards any person or group of people. For example, do I believe in equal rights for women? Absolutely. Do I consider each and every woman a goddess? Absolutely NOT. We are human, all of us. And I will not buy into that ridiculous attitude that women can be goddesses when any man who considers himself a god is nothing more than a misogynistic pig. Nope. Double standards do not fly with me. After all, if equality exists, then it has to exist across the board.
And so, over the years, people have made a LOT of assumptions about me and about where I am coming from, all of which have been complete imaginings in their own minds and have nothing to do with reality. But I still do not consider that any of my business, even though the subject matter is myself. Their thoughts and opinions of me are none of my business, just like my thoughts and opinions of them are none of theirs. Can we get along? Absolutely. Do we have to express absolutely everything we think or feel about each other? Of course not. Here and there, sure. But not every day on a constant basis. My ego does not need that much stroking or that much battering. Neither does yours.
Being a telepath from birth has made the entire aspect of None of My Business challenging at times. However, over the years I have managed to develop some excellent filters for that. Why should I be bombarded by the thoughts of everyone around me? Because it is a gift? No. That bombardment becomes a curse. So filter away! I allow it to kick in only when appropriate and necessary. Other than that, I have all sorts of other things that my mind can be doing instead of reading people’s thoughts. When is it appropriate? There are a few instances:
1. When someone has been traumatized and cannot express what has happened to them.
2. When doing guided imagery work and the person gets stuck. It becomes helpful in assisting them to let go of whatever is hindering their process.
3. Searching for someone in a large crowd. Tuning into their personal frequency can act like a beacon to their location.
4. Figuring out why someone is acting aggressively. Often it has nothing to do with the present moment and everything to do with something else that happened at another time, whether that other time was 5 minutes ago or 5 years ago.
5. If a person is unconscious. It can help them back to consciousness.
Other than these types of situations, there is no need to be in a person’s head constantly. So the filters are there both to benefit their privacy (which everyone has a right to) and for my own peace, because, did I mention, it is traumatizing to be bombarded by others’ thoughts.
Now, often one will find that others have a tendency to try to rope you into their personal drama. This is so pathetic because it is an indication that they feel so powerless that they need to try to rally the forces and have backup. That is different than getting support from a friend. It is more along the lines of gaslighting someone else by getting everyone else around them to believe something about that person that would then benefit the gaslighter’s cause. This is completely inauthentic. I get bored with that sort of thing immediately. And I let the person know that they are boring me with their crap. This often shocks them because they are so used to manipulating others around them. But I cannot stand that garbage behavior, so no. Their ideas about another person are none of my business. And I can make my own decisions about that other person on my own, thank you very much.
Really, what this comes down to is a number of things. First off, it is about boundaries. Boundaries are a really healthy thing to have. Many people don’t know what they are, let alone how to implement them in a healthy way. Secondly, it is about ethics. A lot of people in the spiritual and psychic realm try to skip over the ethics part of their practices, thinking that if they have a gift then they can use it indiscriminately. No, that just makes you an invasive douchebag. And then I become very sad for you. Thirdly, it is about personal authenticity. If I am authentically ME, then I cannot be swayed by others opinions about who I am or who I should be. That is extremely liberating in a culture where “cancelling” someone who does not agree with your uninformed opinion of things is a knee jerk (emphasis on “jerk”) reaction. People like that really do need to mature up and understand that others DO NOT CARE about their personal feelings on most things. Who has time to manage every little offense that they experience? Nobody, that is who. If they want to spend their time being offended, then by all means. But I am not going to be offended on their behalf. What a waste of my energy resources that would be!
In life, it is really important to know what requires your energy and what does not. Because spinning off in every direction imaginable and trying to give energy to every little thing will simply use up all your energy and burn you out faster than anything. It is much healthier to know what is your business and what is not. And then just leave it at that.