So often I hear the phrase, “What can I do? I am only one person!” I do find this to be a cop out in many cases. If someone truly wanted something to change, and if they truly wanted to help another person, they could find a way to do so. But I think that people get overwhelmed about how much need there is in the world around us.
We certainly cannot take on EVERYTHING all at once. And we don’t need to help EVERYONE all the time. Sometimes allowing a person to find their own solutions actually does more for them than would stepping in and taking over. So we have to discern properly and we have to sort out a way to help that does not take away from a person’s sovereignty.
But we cannot just do nothing all the time. If we help just one person, we may not change the entire world, but we will change that person’s world, for sure. The trick is to not become an enabler in the process. My mother, I figured out after leaving home, was an enabler for one of my siblings. Instead of teaching them how to be a responsible person she would run to their aid in a heartbeat, thus “rescuing” them from whatever the dilemma was. This actually fostered a narcissistic personality within them. After all, if you never have to take responsibility for yourself, then why would you? Pretty soon everything was always someone else’s fault. This was classic narcissism at its finest. “It’s all about me, but it is NEVER my fault!”
Instead of teaching them how to do things she would simply do it for them. I remembered this when teaching my child to tie her shoes. She would go into a panic about that because she would struggle with it and, if she were going somewhere with her mother, this would lead to harsh words. So, when we were going somewhere together she would start to cry and ask me to tie her shoes. I would calmly tell her that I don’t do things for other people that they are capable of doing for themselves, and that we have plenty of time, so she can take her time and get it done. And then I would wait. I was not the type of parent to bypass important developmental skills by, say, buying shoes with Velcro. Nope, she had to learn just like the rest of us. Today she is all grown up but she is also the personality type that will not do things for others that they are capable of doing for themselves, and that makes me proud. At the same time, she is socially aware of discrepancies that hinder access for some people and not for others, so she tends to help out whenever she can with that.
It is important, I find, to develop a strong sense of social consciousness. Without that we end up in a society that promotes self-entitled narcissism and promotes those kinds of people into leadership roles. Oh, wait, I can just throw a stone and hit any one of those leadership roles, no matter which direction I cast. People in leadership roles rarely remember that THEY work for US. They get it into their minds that we work for them. and I know that being in a leadership role means that you are never going to be able to satisfy everyone. But when someone in a leadership role starts targeting people for their “otherness” they are demonstrating a complete lack of social consciousness. They are supposed to help people, not hinder them. It is a sad state of affairs when someone simply decides that they want to be “king of the world” and trods on anyone and everyone who speaks out against them. My father and my grandfathers fought against dictators. They did so in order to make it so that I and my children would not ever have to. And now, we see dictators rising up to destroy everything they fought for. It is disgusting.
Although we might not be able to change this right away, we can still have empathy for our fellow human beings. We can still help people. We just need to start with small stuff and work our way up to the bigger stuff. So don’t worry about changing the entire world right now. That will eventually come. Focus right now on the things that you CAN change, if not for yourself then for others, right now in this moment. Keep that in mind as you walk through your day and allow the power of love and grace to guide you. You will be astonished at the ripple effect paying it forward has!