There was, one day, a woman and her toddler son walking down the beach, enjoying the beautiful, sunny day as the waves rolled in, and back. They built sand castles with large walls around them and turrets standing tall. And then, as they began to walk hand in hand once again, there was an enormous wave that came crashing over them. The son was washed right out of her hands, and the mother found herself, as the wave receded, kneeling along on the sandy beach.
She began to scream and sob. And then, turning her head to the sky and lifting her hands into the air, she called out, “Please! Please! If anyone up there can hear me, I have lost my darling son! Please, I BEG of you! Please, bring him back to me!”
She looked out at the sea and saw that the sun’s rays had broken through the cloud cover, beaming light down to the surface of the water. At a great distance there flew an albatross and, as it entered the beam of light, it dove down into the water. When it emerged, the young son was riding on its back! Up it flew into the air, and landed gently down on the sandy beach beside the child’s mother.
The mother scooped up her son and the albatross flew away. She held him in tears of joy and then finally held him at arm’s length, looking him up and down to check for injuries. Then she looked up at the sky with scorn and said, “He had a HAT!”
A lot of people talk about the art of Gratitude. You can find it everywhere on social media. What I have often thought about, however, is how much it becomes obvious that the gratitude is there only when the person posting has actually received exactly what they desired. Now and then one might find a post that acknowledges that there is some uneasy thing happening, but that they are grateful for the things that are also good in their lives. Those are the posts that I like because it shows that their gratitude does not exclusively extend to wish fulfillment. And then there are those who can never be satisfied.
I had a mother-in-law like that at one time. I have had three mothers-in-law in total. This one was, by far, the most challenging. It seemed that no matter what anyone did for her, my wife and I included, it was never quite good enough. Picture giving someone a beautiful silk scarf in turquoise and coral, only to have her say, “I really do like red.” Or picture driving her to the airport only to have her complain that your vehicle was too small and that you took the “long way” when you were avoiding construction. It did not take very long for me to absolutely STOP giving or offering. When someone is that self-entitled they can find their own things to wear and they can certainly arrange for a cab.
Bless her little heart, as they say down south.
I was raised in poverty. Only a few times did we end up just above the poverty line. Hand-me-downs were a constant thing in our family, and you better believe I was always appreciative of them, because without hand-me-downs I would not have had anything at all. I was always grateful for whatever I received, even if that was simply a hot meal. Sometimes, as I was going through growth spurts, my mother would sew me a new pair of pants. Other kids at school would laugh at me when I would wear them. But I would ignore that because, as bad as it felt to be laughed at, I knew that if I did not have those pants to wear, I would be attending in my tighty whities.
This sort of experience growing up certainly keeps one humble. But it also motivates a person. I was not one of those whose parents doled out lavish gifts or forked over money every weekend so their kid could buy designer anything. If I wanted more, I had to get a job and earn more. Often, however, most of any paycheck I received would go back into the farm which had repairs and maintenance that was required. Before having a paying job, I was expected to do farm chores (feeding cattle, horses, and chickens, gardening, chopping and hauling wood for the wood stove, hauling bails, helping with harvest and so on) because that is simply what I had to do in order to continue to live there. I was too young for a driver’s license, so it was not like I could get a paying job before I was sixteen anyway.
Every day, for me, was filled with hard work and had just short stints where I could do whatever I enjoyed, which at that time consisted of horseback riding, hiking in the woods, and generally communing with Nature. On top of all of the work and the few minutes of doing fun things, there was school and homework. Many a farm kid in my school would have leaves of absence in order to do around 2 weeks of harvest with their families. I was one who never took that leave. School was important to me, so I would attend and then work my butt off until around midnight, only to get up at 5 am and do chores and then head to school to do it all over again.
Along the way, I naturally learned that bitterness over what life hands out to you is pointless. It only drags you down into the muck and mire of life. Life is hard. Life has always been hard. But, if we can focus on the beautiful things in life, we can also rise above the muck and mire. So, that is what I have mostly done. No matter how difficult life has been, no matter how cruel people have been to me over the years, I will always rise above that and find the beauty all around me to appreciate and for which to be grateful.
Some days this has not been an easy task. And, truthfully, there have been some very dark times experienced in my past that have led me to the brink of ending it all. However, each time that has happened my sense of self-preservation has kicked in and my determination to make it through has shone through.
I keep a list of the things in my life for which I am grateful. Whenever I find myself sinking into the muck and mire of life, I pull out that list to remind myself that there is light within the darkness. And, although not everything is necessarily going my way, I can appreciate and have gratitude for the things on my list that truly do bring me joy and contentment.
I hope that this blog might inspire any reader to start their own personal list of things for which to be grateful. That way, whenever you find yourself in the muck and mire, you can have the list for reference to remind you that not all is lost or inaccessible. You simply need to turn your focus to the things that bring you joy.
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