Whether we call it Heaven or Nirvana, or whatever other concept of the afterlife we may have created in our minds in order to conceive of what it may be, many have wondered what comes after this? Of course, there are those who don’t think that anything happens after this at all. They are welcome to that belief as well. I, myself, have had a few near death experiences, and have been actually dead a few times in this life, only to, in the last possible second, come back, gasping for air and sitting bolt upright if my surroundings would allow it, scaring the crap out of those who were working on me and about to “call it.”
I don’t, however, believe that this makes me any sort of an “expert” on what is beyond. I only know what was beyond for Me. I will share a wee bit about that in a moment. But for now, I would like to ponder a concept. What if each and every one of us has our OWN form of “heaven”? What if it is completely different for everyone? What if it is dependent upon how we think and what we believe in this life? What if it is simply an accumulation of our best or worst experiences? What if it is a combination of all of those things?
The reason that I ponder this is because not once, in all of my NDE’s (Near Death Experiences) did I ever meet anything close to Jesus. Not once did I ever meet anything close to Buddha. Not once did I ever meet anything close to Allah. I never saw any angels or demons or anything like that.
What I did, however, experience was something almost indescribable. And even though that is so, I am going to attempt to describe it. First came darkness, like when one blacks out. But then came sound. It was a beautiful sound, like the tinkling of glass chimes. Faint, but clear, and slowly getting louder. Then light. That light was blinding at first, but then I became that light as well. Within that light there were other sounds and sensations, even textures. I was hearing a million voices speaking all at once. But they weren’t speaking over top of each other. It was more like soft voices, all saying the same thing, and sometimes different things. It was welcoming. And there was a warm feeling all over, like when a baby is held by its mother. Eventually there were shapes, light-like humanoid shapes. And then there was an opening in the light. It was a dot at first. A small dot that began to grow into a larger dot. It was dark and as it grew there was a sensation like being in a brisk wind. As the dot grew, it became much larger and was more like a hole, or a large opening, like at the mouth of a cave. The wind began to not blow from it but back into it, like a large sucking mouth. Some folks in the light were hanging on for dear life. But I was fascinated by what this sucking vortex of a hole led to. I left what was comfortable and went towards the vortex. At first I took tentative steps, then began to walk more briskly, then ran towards it and JUMPED IN.
There was momentary darkness, followed by a burst of lights, like galaxies of stars. But everything was connected on a silver web. As I walked along the web I found that others were also there, walking on the web. I recognized them as some of the others who were in the light, who had also chosen to enter the vortex. As we walked, we could hear each others’ thoughts and feel each others’ feelings. And this all felt more natural to us than anything we had ever experienced before. A resonant voice welcomed us and spoke with each one of us about our lives and how they were being woven at this moment. We had choices to make. Were we going to return to our lives, or move onto the next one? If we were returning, which I had chosen to do, we were each given a pattern to remember who we were and what we were on this earth to do. This pattern was our own individual weave, which connected to the rest of the dream weave that we were walking. This was beautiful and comforting all at the same time, while also feeling a bit like an ‘assignment’ that we each were to achieve. And then suddenly I was back in my body.
This has happened a number of times for me. I don’t know how many times others have experienced similar things.
I don’t know if this has to do with some of the shamanic teachings that I grew up with, or if those teachings simply correlate with my NDE’s. In speaking with other people about their NDE’s I have found that others experience different things. Some of them have been taken into a beautiful memory from their life. Others have been greeted by deceased relatives and told that it is not their time. Others still find themselves in a meadow or at a waterfall. Each has an experience that is profound to them before coming back to their bodies.
And that is what makes me wonder if this is something that is individual. If heaven has many forms?
Medical practitioners would tell us that our NDE’s are simply neurons firing off as we are dying. None of it, therefore, is real. But then I question the validity of this considering that so many people share similar experiences as others during their NDE’s. I, myself, have met some who had very similar experiences to my own. And I have met some in this life, after much time has passed since my NDE’s, who recognize me and vise versa from those NDE’s. We saw each other during the NDE, we felt each other’s emotions and heard each other’s thoughts, and now, even years later, we recognize one another from that experience. Some of them were on the other side of the planet at the time of the NDE. So how would we ever have communicated this to each other, especially when at the time we did not know each other at all?
This is the type of thing that makes me doubt the theories that are presented by both science and religion. They have concepts that are unprovable in any way. But when an experience is shared by many around the world, how can this ever be disregarded? And others, whose experiences were different from my own, have also found other people who have shared the same type of experiences.
Perhaps the Universe is providing us with experiences that match our particular personalities? Perhaps in doing so It is helping us to recognize our reason for being here in this life at this time? And if we choose to come back to our bodies, perhaps these particular experiences bring with them motivation to accomplish whatever it is that we are here to do?
I don’t have the answers. I just have the experiences as I know them. I have the awareness that others have also had similar experiences, some of whom had them at the exact same time that I had mine. So this means something. What it means to me may differ greatly from what it means to others, and that is fine. But I really don’t think that science or religion have a clue when it comes to NDE’s. For now, all I know is what I have experienced, and what it has meant to me, personally. In the meantime, I still have lots of questions. Perhaps the answers to those will only be provided during my next NDE or at the point of my actual physical death. And until that happens, I will keep moving in the direction in which I am meant to move.