Way back in the mid “80’s I enjoyed clubbing with my friends, just like most young people do. I was in my early 20’s and I loved to dance. So the club scene was something I found very appealing. People who know me now would not recognize me. I had hair…a LOT of hair. Long, curly, thick blonde hair. Yep. Between that and my time at the gym, I was a bit of a “chick magnet.” My favorite club was Confetti’s. That is, until one fateful evening.
My friends and I got all “dolled up” and headed to the club. When we arrived we checked in our coats. The bouncer suddenly stopped me and said, “Nope. Can’t let you in.” I was shocked and asked why? He said that it was because I was wearing a sleeveless tank top. Men have to wear shirts with collars and at least short sleeves. I looked at the young woman who just went in and asked, “So why is she allowed to enter with a strapless dress and I can’t ender when my shoulders are covered?” Those are the rules, he said. That was the last time I ever went there. From then on I went to absolutely ANY OTHER club other than that one.
Over the years this has come to mind as I have experienced a number of situations where someone is judging me at first sight without ever getting to know me. As a matter of fact, I had a local celebrity (if you can call her that anymore) harshly insult me on someone’s facebook post after I made a comment of encouragement for my friend. She has never even met me and came to some conclusion that I am somehow horrible, based upon…what? What someone else has said? Her own assumptions? Most definitely her ignorance. And to insult someone publicly like that when she doesn’t even know them speaks VOLUMES to her maturity level.
I know that I am not the only person in the world who has been judged harshly based on personal biases, ignorance and misinformation. And because this has happened to me a few times, I am conscious of doing my best to not do that to others. But for some people, looking at a book’s cover is all that they can muster for interest. They decide that they don’t like it based only upon that. Some delve in and read the introduction, and then decide they don’t like it. Some simply read the reviews and decide that they don’t like it based purely upon the opinion of someone that they don’t even know. I can only imagine that their libraries must be scant of books!
When we allow ourselves to expore other people we enrich our lives. When we show interest in other people’s lives, our lives improve. When we get to know someone on a deep, soul level, our own soul grows.
Now, as I have mentioned in other posts, I do have some social anxiety. Large crowds and meeting people for the first time are quite difficult for me. But I have found ways of managing that. As a result, I have been enriched by the presence of others in my life. Nobody can take that away from me. And I know others have been enriched by their experiences of me. And nobody can take that away from them.
In an age of social media and constant “cancelling” of people, it sickens me to see so many participating in such childish behavior. Sure, after that insult from that person, I did look her up and block her on all formats because I do have healthy boundaries. But I am not about to try to cancel her because she acted like a douche bag. That is on her and she has to deal with that, and I really don’t care if she does or not. That is none of my business. I simply go on living my life happily without her in it. But I do know her library is also scant.
Before we judge a book by its cover alone, we really do need to delve into a few chapters. See if it is well-written, see if the subject matter strikes up an interest for us, find out how this fits or does not fit into our personal phylosophy of life, get to know the author’s style of writing and how that impacts us as the reader, find out how the message of the book fits for us and how it challenges us to open our minds and hearts to a greater capacity. Without getting to know these things, our opinions about the book are irrelevant.