I have spoken about grief in previous blogs, and about losing those we love in blogs and articles. There is one dynamic, however, that I have not yet mentioned. This happens when a person is spiritual but struggles with the reality that those they have lost and who are on the other side of the Veil do not reach out after their deaths. When this happens they have feelings of despair and heartache.
For some reading this, you might think, “Well THANK GOD THEY DON’T! That would freak me out!” But for others it would definitely be a comfort to them if they did experience contact, or what some refer to as a “haunting,” from their loved one, human or animal. This is where we really run face first into the brick wall of our expectations of the other side.
There are a LOT of theories about what happens when we die. But the cold hard truth of the matter is that we never do and never will know for certain what happens. This is partly because the Universe has many plans for us and does not disclose what they are, and partly because how we lived might determine what does happen to us upon death. We may THINK we have been a good person or a bad person, but does the Universe actually judge us that way? Does the Universe even CARE about any of that? We are told that it does care, but we are told that by people leading religions, which are simply elaborate systems of control over the masses. If you want people to behave themselves according to your expectations, bombard them with fear mongering messages about how God is going to ZOT you if you don’t tow the line!
Then on the other end of the spectrum are the spiritual folks who believe in an afterlife and believe that we can make contact, or be contacted, and commune with those who have passed on. I consider myself to be in that category. But I don’t consider myself to be entitled to such communication. I consider myself to be honored whenever it happens, but I do not in any way expect that it MUST happen.
Let’s say we lose a beloved pet to some form of illness or injury that kills them. People will often place their human ego expectations onto the pet’s spirit and expect that the pet will visit them regularly. That is not how it works at all. We can’t place our ego expectations onto Spirit of any form. Spirit does not rally care about those expectations. In fact, it is most often busy doing something else entirely and leaves this world behind completely. And so, we are left with having to deal with that reality. It does not mean that our pet did not love us. It also does not mean that we did not love our pet correctly. So we have to stop our ego expectations from torturing us and making us think that we are either unworthy or that something has gone wrong simply because our pet has not connected with us after its death. The same can be said for any person who dies. They may reach out, and they may not, and that is THEIR choice, not ours. When it comes to them talking to us or visiting us, it is more likely that we will hear nothing but the sound of crickets.
This is a concept that many struggle with because humans get caught up in “enlightenment traps” such as sentiment and nostalgia. One traps us into what always was while the other traps us into what should have, or could have, or would have been. All that achieves is a slow and agonizing torture of our psyche. But if we rid ourselves of the ego expectations of spirit, then when we do actually connect with spirit, we are able to thoroughly enjoy the experience without remorse or heartache. Truly, we need to detach ourselves from the experience in order to actually experience it authentically. If we don’t do that, then what we are indeed experiencing falls more into the category of illusion or delusion. So stay grounded and yet keep your heart and mind open and then you will more likely experience a “visitation” from one on the other side of the Veil.