Yesterday was 31 degrees C. It was HOT. Our A/C was not functioning at all until after 5pm. The house did not cool off well overnight. And then it rained between 2am and 4am. The humidity today with a forecast of 27C is going to be ridiculous. And yet my garden boxes and deck pots, despite the rain, were almost dry as a bone this morning. So I went out early and gave everything a bit of a drink again just to get them through the heat of the upcoming day.
As I watered, I was thinking about the fact that I refer to my garden as a “Salad Garden” because I am growing things that go into salads. Tomatoes, carrots, spinach, parsley, and chives. I am also growing runner beans, which I suppose could be considered salad material. The rest is flowers because I want to feed the bees and hopefully save the planet in so doing. I was thinking as well about how certain things appeal to certain people.
For example, there is this thing called a “garnish”. Edible, yes, but not necessarily something that everyone likes. Parsley falls into that category. I like parsley, but some folks would not touch it with a ten foot pole. That is how I feel about turnips
and pretty much anything bitter, but others really like those things. And then there are some folks who just enjoy it all, not matter how bitter or sweet or spicy.
Life is kind of like that. There are some things that a lot of people will be into, some that only a few will be into, and some things that most people would never go near. Does this make anyone wrong or right? I don’t think so. That would be too dualistic a thought system. Discernment is something that is useful to help one decide what works for them and what does not. But whatever it is may or may not work for someone else as well. This does not mean that anyone is more right than anyone else.
We tend to live in a state of “becoming”. We tend to live for tomorrow, in hopes of accomplishing something special or achieving great heights of awareness and enlightenment. But that means that we are always living in the future, thus unavailable to the present moment. And those of us who live in the past, through regret, sentiment, nostalgia and such things, are also robbing ourselves of the present moment.
When we live in the moment, we are not striving for anything. We are simply experiencing. What we decide works for us or does not is a matter of personal taste and preference. This is something that we are all allowed to have. No one need force anything on anyone else just for the sake of “giving them an opportunity to try something new” or “forcing them to obey and do as I say”. Personal taste is a matter of discernment. When we allow ourselves to discern, we allow ourselves to determine with our spirit what is right for us, regardless of what may or may not be right for someone else. This keeps us on our personal spiritual path, without having to get side tracked by another’s expectations or demands.
Yet we often find ourselves in a situation where we think that we should or should not do something, based upon the expectations and demands of others. My mother, for example, was an impeccable house keeper. I think her mother before her was as well. So this expectation got passed down. There have been times in my life when I was just as impeccable in my house keeping. Did I hear someone say, “OCD”? When I realised that I was stressing myself out way too much about how clean my kitchen floor had to be I dropped my broom and mop and decided that people really don’t need to eat off of my floor anyway, so why make it so that they can? Now, in comparison to others, I am still pretty high up there in terms of cleanliness and housekeeping. And sometimes living with other people can be a challenge to that because their standards are sometimes much lower than my own. But really, do we want to be spending our lives griping about how someone else doesn’t pick up after themselves? No. So we develop a system whereby they learn to do that and not expect others to do it for them. And then those of us whose standards are higher have to also learn to breathe as something sits where it was left for 2 days before said person picks it up or cleans it up. But at least we are not a slave to their slovenliness.
My mother kept a really clean house because it was expected of her. And in teaching me how to in order to prevent me from ever having to depend upon another human being to take care of my household chores (and covertly to prevent anyone I ever married from having to put up with a slob as she had) what she created was an expectation that my home would be spick and span tidy at all times. Imagine her shock when, after my first marriage ended, I decided to go into a slovenly stage of life and had to pick up clothes and empty bottles and such from the living room floor and furniture so that she would have a place to sit when she came to visit! I was also going into my first stage of painting, so needless to say there were not a lot of clothes, or parts of my body for that matter, that were not covered in some form of colourful paint. I think she thought I had lost my mind. But really, I lost my interest in living up to anyone else’s expectations. And that is okay.
Everyone has different tastes. Everyone has different standards. To each their own.