How do we respond when we get bad news? Sometimes it is a matter of allowing ourselves time to just go into the depths of despair for a while, knowing we will come out. We sometimes have to remind ourselves that we do, indeed, have to come out of it and back into the LIGHT. And sometimes we have to even remind ourselves that there is, indeed, a light at all to come back to. And sometimes we just go into denial because we cannot handle one more bad thing coming our way. Whatever the course of action we choose, it is always nice to have people around us to remind us of our worth when we can no longer see it. It is nice to have people champion us over our shadow selves who would rather condemn us to the pathetic. And, on top of that, we do need to champion ourselves so that we survive whatever it may be.
The Course in Miracles states, “Ask for light and learn that you are light. The light is within you. Darkness can cover it, but cannot put it out.’ Although I studied the Course in Miracles, I cannot say that I am a “follower” of it, because a LOT of it was self-contradictory, which drove me crazy. I am not a sheeple, so hearing platitudes such as, “Just keep going, it will all make sense,” gave me a very bad taste in my mouth. This quote, however, did stick. It gave me hope in some of my darkest moments.
So often we are taught that we are helpless, worthless, and even dirty sinners. All that is bull. Not one of us has been created for no reason whatsoever. Not one of us is worthless. We are all capable of finding our purpose and our hidden talents along the way. We are all able to contribute to society in a constructive manner. And, most of all, we are all sovereign beings. We are able to think for ourselves, if we allow ourselves. We are able to create incredible beauty, if we allow ourselves to release our need to flog ourselves with the words that we were brought up with…words that were only ever meant to hold us back and control us. Words that were given to us by those who feared our greatness.
Self-doubt has no place in sovereignty. Even if we are unsure of how to do something or of what to do, if we allow ourselves to go within and see the answers, they will come. And if they don’t, then there are MANY people who have done similar things and who would be more than willing to teach us how to go about it. We are, on the one hand, told that we are worthless and, on the other hand, told that it is not alright to ask for help. What a spectacular way to shackle a soul! Dump that garbage thinking and move on. Those shackles are only there now because you are the one allowing them to be.
So when something bad happens, it is not because we somehow created it. It is not because we somehow deserved it. It is not because we are not worth better. Sometimes, bad stuff happens, even to very good people. It is not whether or not the bad stuff has happened that makes the difference. It is how we respond to it that makes the difference. Our threshold for tolerance of garbage thinking really must become extremely low if we are going to rise above it. And that garbage thinking is not just something that comes at us from outside ourselves, it mostly comes at us from within, thus we become our own worst enemies. But the cool thing about that is that we then have all the power to choose differently and to re-train our minds so that we can calm ourselves and enter our heart space and find what we truly desire in our lives. Then the manifestation can begin!
When bad things happen, we first must acknowledge that what is perceived as bad in the moment just might, down the road a ways, become a HUGE gift in self-awareness. That is not an easy pill to swallow. But most, including myself, who have experienced tragedy in their lives, will tell you that there is an unexpected process wherein we learn so much more about ourselves than we ever would have learned had that tragedy not come our way. That is not to say that the tragedy was “meant to happen.” That, to me, is also garbage thinking. But what it means is that we have resilience and that resilience will help us find the medicine within a poisonous situation.
We also have to remember to look for the blessings that have always been there for us, before the bad thing happened, and after the bad thing happened. When we identify these, they give us reasons to continue on our journey through life.
And we also have to remind ourselves that this is not the end of the world. It is simply a change to the world that we knew. And change is happening around us all the time. Embracing that change gives us strength to move on and to “go with the flow,” if you will. We cannot be stubborn little three year olds, kicking and screaming about not wanting this change. That is completely unproductive.
How we respond to things that happen to us is more important that the things that happened. Turning our attention to the other side of the coin of tragedy, we will always find truly magnificent things.