I have been thinking about the many things that I have experienced in life. My partner often tells me that he cannot fathom anyone having as many weird experiences as I have, but then another friend of ours tells us about some of the things that she has experienced and we decide that it is not just me. She decided that, on some level we must be spiritual twins, because many of the experiences are similar in content and timing in our lives. So anyway, I thought that I would share some of my memories, because you never know when the early onset will kick in and I may need a point of reference sometime in the future! In the meantime, you, the reader, get to sit back, sip your drink, and chuckle away.
I remember learning how to walk. For some reason it was “acceptable” to put a small child into flat bottomed shoes. This completely threw off my balance. I hated them. Then my mother put these small bells on the laces. They made a cool sound. I was fascinated by them. I got up, tapped my toe (ring ring!) and then took a step (ring!) and then another two steps (ring ring!) and then I ran. It was delightful. I still hated the shoes. But I could walk and run in them so I was okay with wearing them when I had to.
I remember not speaking until I was almost 3 years of age. My mother and I were both telepathic, so what was the point in making all that verbal noise? Then, when I did finally speak, it was in a sentence. I told my mother’s friend, who had come over for tea and was upset but had not said anything about what was upsetting her yet, that she need not worry because her husband was going to leave that other woman and come back to her. That was when my mother taught me about tact.
I remember spending my first 3 birthdays in the hospital. I was in there a lot. As a small child I was extremely sensitive environmentally, but those sensitivities and the allergies that I had, as intense as they were, happened way before anything about allergies was ever medically discovered. So I ended up being a pin cushion for every test they could come up with. It was torture. And I always wanted to just go home and was told I had to stay for “a few more days” which would end up being a few more weeks. My 4th birthday was the first one I spent at home. I had chocolate cake and 4 candles to blow out and I was thrilled.
I remember arriving home from school in grade 3 to find our house was packed up in a moving truck. Apparently no one thought to tell me that this was happening. By that time in my life I was quite distracted by a lot of things and had also learned that “tact” thing so was not constantly reading people’s minds. That was the day that we moved to the farm. I was most worried about my “old friend” which was a fluorite crystal that a man at the gas station had given me. I had no idea where it was amongst the hundreds of boxes. It was the first thing that I looked for when my room was designated. I still have my old friend to this day.
I remember having my first experience with a shared telephone line…on a rotary dial telephone. That served as great entertainment for a number of years. I did, however, dislike the fact that any of our other three neighbors on the party line could listen in on my conversations with friends. When a call came in to our house, it was to a ring that was one long ring and two short rings. My best friend’s house was a half mile away and their house was two short rings and one long ring.
I remember running to my friends house to play. I was FAST back then. My mom timed me from our approach to their approach and she told me that it took me just under a minute. I really should have gone into track and field. But as good as I was at that, it was not something that held my interest, so I let that go after junior high.
I remember having a junior high. Mine went from grade 7 to 9. Admittedly, elementary school was much easier. When I entered grade 7 the grade 9’s treated us like we were less than human. I refused to treat any of the future grade 7’s or 8’s that way.
I remember having lightning course through my body when I was very near a lightning strike…three times in my life. Each time it knocked me on my ass. And once it felled a tree that fell right in front of the truck I was driving. I hit the ditch to avoid the tree and rolled the truck. The headaches that ensued each time were horrible. I believe that they are linked to the migraines that I currently struggle with now and then.
I remember dying when I was 3 and had my diphtheria shot. I was apparently quite allergic to the carrying agent. There were convulsions, followed by blacking out, followed by leaving my body and going into the Light through a tunnel. This was not the last time I would experience something like that. But it was the last time I ever had a vaccination for anything.
I remember seeing ghosts around the farm where I grew up. That place seemed to be a very strange vortex that attracted all sorts of odd phenomena. This is part of what led me to becoming a shaman in the first place. That and the fact that it is in my blood.
I remember how grateful I was that I took Spirit’s suggestion to leave the military reserves. Had I stayed I would have been in Desert Storm.
I remember the amazement I felt upon the arrival of my first born child. Looking into this infant’s eyes sent me on a journey through the stars. To this day my child is, to me, perfect in every way.
I remember how different it was when my second child was born. The first was long and slender, the second rolly polly. And I remember my heart growing 4 sizes that day.
I remember, as a child, doing a vision quest. I was around 16 years of age. I was out in the bush, sitting in a ring of stones. It was 4 days in total. I had told my mom I was doing this and that my spiritual teacher was taking care of me for this. She was concerned, but respected the fact that I was very serious about doing this. My spiritual teacher would look in on me now and then. And, because he could sense my blood sugar issues, he would bring me very small things to nibble on here and there. It was not so much about the fasting as it was about the isolation from humans. My visions were tremendous. My journeys were amazing. My nocturnal visitations from the animal kingdom in the middle of the night…and then in the middle of the day…were magical. That was the first time that I was told to never use hallucinogenics for any purpose. I was gifted enough and open enough as it was. They would just mess me up, whereas for others they would, if used properly and ONCE, open their minds to the universe. I was also warned that there would be people who would be repeat users and who would encourage me to use them, thinking that they would be doing me a favor. I was told to respect their path, but to not ever stray from my own. To this day I practice this.
I remember my first and only sweat lodge. It was torture. Later on I was informed that the sweat lodge was not a ceremony that I needed anyway, but one that I was supposed to experience at least once. It is not meant for everyone, and it is not the be-all and end-all of ceremonies that heal. So I was guided to stay focused on other healing ceremonies and be done with the sweat lodges. I am alright with that. I can’t even take a hot shower without feeling like I am going to pass out from too much steam, so I am good with not doing sweat lodges.
I remember the first time I accidentally injured my dog. I was around 10 and I had tossed a pillow aside and it hit her tail and broke it. I was so completely mortified. Since then I have taken extra care in how I move and act around my dogs. Sometimes, in an urgent situation, one does need to get a little bit physical with them, but for the most part they are pretty aware of what they need to do or not do, and a simply tone of voice communicates a lot to them.
I remember being out camping on my own, sleeping under the stars. I really enjoyed star gazing and this was something that I felt I wanted to do as long as possible that night. I brought my sleeping bag out of the tent, not intending to fall asleep, just intending to stay warm. But eventually I did fall asleep. Then I woke up to the sensation of being licked on the face, repeatedly, by something with a very large and very wet tongue. I was terrified that it might be a bear. But when I finally got the courage to open my eyes, it was a deer. I softly said, “Good morning,” and it jumped about six feet straight up into the air, landed right beside me and took off into the bush. I was glad it did not land ON me, but found its reaction pretty hilarious, considering it was the one who woke ME up.
I remember being 15 and getting “trampled,” if you can call it that, by a herd of 20 horses. I was bridling up the horse I was about to ride (bareback) out at the far end of the pasture. In the field next to the pasture was a family collecting some bales that we had sold to them. Their little girl saw the horses and started running towards them. I did not see her there because I was on the other side of my horse, who was very tall. Suddenly my horse started behaving in a way that was quite unusual. She began pushing against me HARD and then knocked me down to the ground. Suddenly all the horses were running over top of me, but they were really trying hard to not step on me. One of them accidentally clipped my shin, chipping a bone just below my knee. It hurt like the dickens. When the dust cleared, I sat up, looked over, and saw this little girls with a horrified look on her face. She was starting to cry, realizing what had happened. I stood up as best as I could and said, “It’s alright. I am okay. But please don’t ever run at a horse. They spook easily. Okay?” She nodded and I said that if her parents wanted to bring her to the yard later I would give her a ride on my horse’s back. She was thrilled. I hobbled back to the house, where my mom applied healing poultices and ointment to my leg to stop the bruising that was already developing and the bleeding that was happening with the broken skin. When they arrived in the yard my mom told them what had happened. The girl had said nothing to her parents, who were busy with the bails and did not see what had happened. I limped out and they were extremely appologetic. I asked if I could give her a ride on the horse and they agreed. So I went out to the pasture, collected my horse, rode her in to the yard, got off and put her up on the horse’s back. Then I led the horse around the yard for about a half hour or so. She was so happy and I was so pleased with her elation that I kind of forgot about the pain I was in. Until the next day. Then I was in excruciating pain and had to go get X-rays and such. I found out later that that same girl, when she was 16, won some ribbons in barrel racing. That was so cool!
I remember being in an end-ever-end roll over. I was a passenger in my girlfriend’s car. That was extremely scary and the injuries have lasted throughout my life since that time (I was 18).
I remember being 15 and having girlfriends call me on the phone, which I did not like because….PARTY LINE….only to have them just breathe, not saying much of anything and expecting me to entertain them. I was so irritated by this that I began a personal policy that I do not talk on the phone. None of them got it. I did not care. I had no time for that irritating habit that all of them seemed to have.
I remember spending most of my childhood terrified of my father. I won’t go into everything about that, but suffice it to say, he earned that reaction from me. And where my mother could not wait for him to return home after being gone for work for a week or two weeks or more, I was always feeling the horrible count down to his return.
I remember the first time in my life that I found someone who loved me with no agenda whatsoever about who I need to be or what I need to accomplish in life. It amazed me that it took as long as it did. But I am still with him.
These are just a few of the things that come to mind. There are many more, and perhaps I will share those in an I Remember Part 2 down the road.