As humans we spend a lot of time asking ourselves questions like “Why has this happened?” We often feel a hunger to figure out what led up to some situation or event. The problem with this approach is that it also very easily can lead to the blame game. We often blame others for our situations and circumstances, and sometimes we harshly blame ourselves when there was no way we could have avoided the situation. I hear a lot of New Age bunk about how “It was obviously meant to happen”. This is irritating at best. What this message says to a person is that 1. Somehow, on a deep, spiritual level they CHOSE to have something abusive or tragic happen to them for their “escalated learning process”. Talk about a twisted spin on blaming the victim! and 2. Because some “divine” power has established that this is necessary (even if that power is our OWN spirit) we have no choice in the matter and are now powerless to do anything about it.
I have found that in the most challenging times in my life I will usually spend about 5 minutes in total pondering why something happened. For me that is more of a tracking of a sequence of events and choices that have led up to the event. It is not about blame, it is about understanding what I might have contributed and what I definitely did not. And truly, that DOES only take me about 5 minutes. The rest of the time is spent on much more constructive aspects of responses. This is where I will ask myself (or spirit),”How do I now work with this?”
Once one asks THAT question answers are almost immediately provided. Sometimes it is initially about letting the pain be expressed. To express something is to allow it to be pulled out. Tears are healing and they allow that pent up emotional time bomb easily just let it all out. This ensures that it does not explode in a less appropriate place or time. Sometimes it is about taking care of details. What funeral home do I need to hire? What is the insurance payout process? How do I work with the accounts with the bank? What does this mean regarding my income tax?
Whatever the situation, be it personal or professional, if we ask ourselves “How do I work with this?” we will get much more constructive energies flowing. And when that happens we can find extremely creative solutions to most problems that arise. When we ask only “Why?” we are lending ourselves to the opportunity to simply tie our own hands behind our backs. Why would we want to do that to ourselves? I am almost certain that the human species cannot possibly be THAT defeatist. But most often we are encouraged by spiritual practices to seek out the answer as to “why” and completely miss the question of “how”. I believe that this is so that we can remain compliant to whatever we are spoon fed on a religious and spiritual level. It makes sheep out of us all, when we actually need to recognise ourselves as wolves. We are strong, capable, compassionate, and cunning beings. And when we recognise ourselves as such we become a force that is biblical in magnitude.
Now the invitation. Set yourself free. Ask yourself “how?”. And then do it. Even if it means doing something “crazy” like going outside and howling at the moon. Unchain your inner wolf.