When I was a kid, my grandmother would often watch how people would get all wound up about one thing or another, creating drama where there need not be any. She would often say things like, “It would be so easy for them if they would just stop throwing pebbles in their path.” I loved how she would say it, all calm and peaceful, almost Zen-like. And she was right.
After many years of throwing pebbles in my own path I finally learned how to not do that. It does take some time and some practice. Part of that was learning how to not get swept up in other people’s drama. A lot of people say things like, “I don’t like drama,” but, when it comes right down to it, they most often get swept up in it without recognizing it for what it truly is. So they end up cluttering up their path in life with a bunch of pebbles…some the size of Mount Everest.
I have often found that finding the neutral place within is the best way to not clutter my path with pebbles. These days it is very difficult to not end up in a long conversation about the pandemic. So my partner and I decided that we were going to create a “safe word,” for when those conversations were becoming too emotionally charged, thus giving us a break where we can find our calm center once again. It is much like a safe word used in BDSM play, but in this case there is no leather or lube involved…usually.
We all need to be able to monitor what is going on inside. Whenever people start talking ridiculous conspiracy theory stuff I begin to sizzle inside and eventually implode. I do not like fear mongering. And that is exactly what conspiracy theorists will do. They so desperately want to be “right” about stuff and have the “inside scoop” on stuff that it ends up just creating a bunch of hysteria. I can only take so much of it and then I shut it down completely. I do not want to live in a state of paranoia and fear and hyper vigilance. That takes way too much mental and emotional energy. So I go neutral.
Neutrality is the ability to not be moved in one direction or another and not have an emotional charge in one way or another. Those who struggle with it, as we all do, will find that the chief cause of that struggle is about not being in control. But here is the thing. There is very little, other than ourselves, that we have any control over anyway. And, knowing that, it becomes much easier to back away from any agendas and outcomes and just be present in the moment. Without the emotional charge of having to create certain outcomes, we are able to actually more fully experience the process of what is happening right here and now, without worrying about what will be.
We stop the insanity of throwing pebbles in our own paths. Thus life becomes much more pleasant and we are able to walk that path unhindered. This is a vast difference from the “usual” way people tend to do things. And it is one that is worth exploring.