Sometimes life presents us with hilarious moments of miscommunication simply because of the words that were chosen. I remember at a party once that there was a conversation between an elderly gentleman and a young woman, who was telling him that she had almost completed a course she was taking and that it was taking longer than she thought it would have. He asked her, “And when are you expecting?” He was asking her about completion of the course. She thought he thought she was pregnant because she was insecure about her weight. This sort of social situation comes in all forms. The thing is that we do need to seek clarity on what a person actually meant before having a reaction to it.
A friend and I were talking about energy and healing and how this sort of thing is becoming more of a commonly accepted practice. The awareness is growing. At some point my friend said, “It is, after all, the new world order.” Now, that phrase is exactly what was used by the Nazi regime back in the 1930’s, and that was a movement that killed off a large portion of my family. So that phrase itself brings with it some pretty old familial wounds. But I know my friend. I would never assume that this is what was meant by that particular phrase in this particular case. The fact that this was the phrase that was chosen, however, may mean that there is something else going on. It could mean that, for example, there is, indeed, a shift of political structure going on in our world (be that good or bad, we will have to wait and see), it could mean that there is a shift in consciousness happening world wide (that would be awesome), and it could also mean that those words are beginning to be used to indicate something much less sinister and much more positive in our world.
This brings to mind how words and their meanings change over time. There was, after all, a time that a “fag’ simply meant a cigarette. Then it became a derogatory term for homosexuals. Then homosexuals began to take the power back from that and use it as a celebratory term for themselves. I still cringe when I hear that word. For me, it is still a word that denotes hatred. I know some gay men who use it in the celebratory way, but I cannot bring myself to appreciate that word in that way. I think it is great that they can, but I am just not there. I would never use that word to describe anyone and I would certainly not use it to describe myself if I were gay. (For those of you whose eyebrows just raised up to the back of your heads, I assure you that “gay” is not how I identify, and how I identify is what counts more than anyone else’s opinions on that matter).
A lot of people will also go on and on about things that they “hate”. I have been guilty of this now and then as well. Mind you I don’t go on and on about it. I just state that I hate it when something intolerable has happened or commonly happens. Like when they change the layout of the grocery store, for example. Nonetheless, I am very selective about when that word is used, because I don’t want to hate life itself. I have noticed others, however, use that word to describe the most incidental of inconveniences. After spending any time with those folks one walks away feeling like one is drained of energy. Why? Because hatred drains the life out of anything and everything. So, if you are going to “hate,” at lease project that onto something like your front yard dandelions (if those bother you…they don’t bother everyone).
Dr. Emoto did some research on how the molecules of water will change according to what intent is placed into them. He would then freeze the water and photograph the molecules. A molecule that was infused with “love” would be absolutely gorgeous, consistently. And a molecule that was infused with “I hate you” would consistently look cancerous. Considering that our bodies are made up of about 70% water, we really do need to be more careful about what we put into our bodies in terms of the words we choose to think, speak and live by. Those words will definitely have an affect on how our bodies manifest our physical health and well-being.
So how do we make that transition? I find that there are two very useful words that help. Those words are “cancel that.” So if I find myself using an incredibly negative word, such as “hate,” I will say something like, “Cancel that. What I mean to say is_____” and fill in the blank with a more accurate or positive spin. So, for example, I might say something like, “I hate it when someone fails to use their signal light when driving.” Then I might say, “Cancel that. What I mean to say is that I am concerned that the person who failed to use their signal light is going to hurt someone on the road with their negligence.” Notice that I did not say, “I am afraid that…”. “Fear” is another word that is used far too often and places our subconscious into a constant state of hyper “red alert”. I choose not to live that way. Fear has its place. If one is being threatened, of course one will feel fear. But that fear is what is supposed to motivate our self-preservation, not cripple us and make us compliant. Sometimes that self-preservation is in the form of staying quiet for a moment. Sometimes it is in the form of getting our butts out of wherever we are fast, and sometimes it is about standing up and declaring space and proper behavior.
As we become aware that we can choose to change the words that we use for things, and begin to effectively cancel the ones that are negative, we then become more conscious of choosing them properly in the first place. This process also requires that we slow down a tick before allowing the words to come out of our mouths. I am notorious for pausing and saying, “Let me see how I can say this properly.” Sometimes the person I am speaking with will respond with something like, “Just say it. I can handle it.” But my pausing for a moment has nothing to do with them or whether or not they can handle the words. It is more about my wanting to make sure the words resonate positively for me. There really is nothing wrong with taking a moment to just construct a verbal sentence properly. After all, our lives may depend upon it.