Life is not an easy road to travel. There are a LOT of bumps and hairpin turns along the way. Those who are uncomfortable with change often find that life is unbearable at the best of times because, in truth, change is the ONLY constant thing about life. From the time we are conceived until the time we die (no matter how long a period of time there is between those two events) change will continuously be knocking on our door.
People have often wondered how it is that I handle changes in life as well as I do. Apparently, to the outside world, I flow fairly easily with change…even if that change involves the death of a loved one. What they are not necessarily privy to is the deepness of sorrow that is often under the surface during the transition phase. I was brought up to honour life, but to embrace death as a part of life. So yes, one goes through the grieving and the sorrow, but with a healthy basis of understanding the cycles of the wheel of life, one transitions through those cycles more expediently. This can, to some, appear to be a LACK of grief…which would be completely inaccurate.
In order to understand how this works, one should first develop a familiarity with the concept of transmutation. To transmute something is to work it into becoming something else. So if someone is angry with me about something I first know that what they are angry about has more to do with their own personal issues and history than it does with me. But perhaps something I said or did triggered something for them. I totally get that. Their response may be completely over the top compared to whatever the action on my part was. So I could become highly offended, or I could transmute. I prefer the transmutational aspects. The thing is, although I may also vent about the situation, the transmutation is already under way. I am already working on allowing this to become a learning experience and I am already looking for the “medicine” that can be gleaned from the experience. The medicine is what I prefer to carry with me, not the conflict, not the trauma, and certainly not resentment. And that medicine can only be defined by ME, not by anyone else looking in.
Happiness is a way of life. When we have gratitude for what we experience, even if it is quite unpleasant and somewhat traumatic, we can create happiness. Our minds will want to hold onto the trauma, and obsess over it. But our hearts will want to transmute this into something loving. No matter what comes our way, it is always good to look at it from a positive twist. If I sprain my ankle, I don’t get mad, no matter how painful. I allow my pain blockers within to start pumping and begin immediately to look forward to having my foot elevated while I kick back and enjoy a day or two of relaxation. That way I don’t get all bent out of shape about the event, or what led up to it, or what is to follow.
If I make a mistake (and believe me we all make those in abundance) I choose to learn from it. I look at the bright side of things and know that at least now I know one more way to NOT accomplish whatever it was I was attempting in the first place. There is an expression that goes “Hakuna Mutata” which means basically “no worries for the rest of your days”. I like that. Worrying only robs us of the present and the future anyway, so why not allow ourselves freedom from that and look at the bright side of things? Tomorrow is another day and a new opportunity to become the person we are working very hard at becoming. If we have not added to that person we are becoming, we may have at least chipped away some of the old person who is no longer as relevant to the new self. And if we have not done that either, then at least we get another chance tomorrow.
I have lived a long time this time around…so far. And in that time I have made plentiful mistakes along the way. I have strayed from my sacred path and found my way back onto it…numerous times. I have been in situations where, for various reasons, people have either tried to oppress me or have just outright hated me. I cannot take any of that personally, for it usually has nothing to do with me at all. But now and then I have screwed up and no amount of making up for the mistake with them will ever repair whatever it is that I have done, or have been perceived to have done. That is life. If I have made my attempts at repair, only to be met with bitterness, resentment and hatred, then that is on them. I move on. Had I never made any attempt, then that would be a different story. But I do always make an attempt or two. That is how I was raised. Yet some people do not realise that they do not need to hold onto things. And so they hold on, and expect that this brings them some power, when in actuality it only serves to keep them imprisoned in their own perceived victimhood. This is sad. But there is nothing anyone can do with that when someone is in that downward spiral. They have to take charge of their own actions and beliefs in order to get themselves out of it. I know…because I too have been victimised. But I have also refused to allow myself to become wrapped up in identifying myself with that victimhood. I won’t even stop at the place of being a survivor of whatever the trauma has been. That is only part way home in the healing journey. No, I want to always be a person who THRIVES. And so I look to the bright side, the positive medicines, the transmutation, and become a better person each day than the one I was before.
I don’t know if this will help anyone who reads this, but I certainly hope that it does. And I hope that the readers don’t think that I am being trite in how I approach my life. That is not the case at all. In fact, the art of transmutation takes YEARS to learn and perfect. It is very difficult work. But fortunately I have lived enough years to see the results of that work. And for this I truly feel blessed.